Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
