On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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