maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
