I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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