shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
