i just wanna soil my oats bro
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
