Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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