I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
