His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he shaved USA in his pubs
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
