youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
