I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
