That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
