did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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