I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
