Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
