Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
