are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
