Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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