I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
