I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
