No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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