I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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