who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
