I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
