Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
