I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
