Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
