Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
