Pappa wants mamma naked
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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