Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
