Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
