she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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