so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
