office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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