Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
