You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
