I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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