well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
