he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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