We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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