Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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