these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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