Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
