Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
