I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
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