I wish i was in the wii world.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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