video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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