Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
