I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
