Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
